Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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