I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
