Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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