Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
