was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
