I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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