got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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