Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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