no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
