Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
