he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
