Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
