dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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