If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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