just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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