The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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