How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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