i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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