Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Randomize
