Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
