the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
