I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
