i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
