I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
NoShamevember. You game?
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
