Will you blow on my dice?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
