Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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