You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
