last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Randomize
