So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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