im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Two words: nipple clamps
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