My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
