You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Randomize
