Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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