After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
