i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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