in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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