He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
