She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Randomize
