Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
