I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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