i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
