I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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