I can text with my tongue
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
