is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
