Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
