i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
