The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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