what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Randomize
