They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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