Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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