Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
