Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize