remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
