dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
There's even glitter on my cock...
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