Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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