One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize