chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
