i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
